We started to write down all the good memories of Brandon. We had a long list. We did not want to ramble on so we decided on some main ones. Brandon started doing funny antics to make people laugh at about three years old and continued throughout his life. He brought joy to us and many people throughout his short life. Brandon was likeable by many of his peers and he had many friends. If you were Brandon's friend, he would never betray you, even at cost to himself. From all the memories we wrote down we started to see Brandon's life in a new light. Much different than the day to day, up and down, life which unfolded in front of us. This is the way we see Brandon's life now, from our point of view. Brandon was born with a compelling urgency to his life, which was the driving force behind everything he did. He had to be the best at everything he did. He was enthustiastic about everything he did in life and did these things to the extreme to leave his mark in life saying "Brandon was here". He was always in a rush to do things. If they could not be accomplished right away he would not do them. He did not have time to slowly learn anything. He had to pack everything into his life quickly. He walked very early in life, which was more like a run. He wanted to grow up to fast. He started smoking at an early age. He drove cars before he had a driver's liscense. He got engaged to April at 17. Why was Brandon always in a hurry? His compelling urgent driving force knew the internal life clock was going to stop at an early age. It hurried him down the highway of life to see as much as possible before it stopped. We love you and we will miss you always. You will always be in our hearts and prayers forever and ever until one day when we will meet again. Love, Mom, Dad and Tiffany |
Your gravestone finally arrived today,
That's what the voice on the phone had to say.
"Come check it over, make sure it's right,
and I will set it before tomorrow night."
I cannot begin to describe the shock that I felt,
When I laid my eyes on your stone, another blow was dealt.
Seeing your name, written boldly in stone,
My knees got weak, and I heard myself moan.
It is final now, you really did die,
The name on the stone is not a lie.
Denial has gotten me far in my life,
But I can't deny what is written in stone, my strife.
I had to run, and hide in the truck,
cause the tears are falling, and my heart has been struck.
That name that is written upon that stone,
is my beloved son, and yes, he is gone!
How many times can my heart be broken in two,
over and over, because I have lost you.
All I can think is "It's written in stone",
My son is gone, and I sit here alone.
I really didn't expect to feel this much emotion,
upon seeing your stone, and I wish for a potion,
to erase the wrenching torment I feel in my heart,
a pain I have become familiar with, since we have been apart.
"God,", I asked, "How much longer? How many more times,
must I feel this knife pierce my heart, live riddles and rhymes?
I know he is better off up there with you in heaven above,
but what do I do without the son that I love?"
I watched as the stone was placed on your grave,
And once again, I decided to be brave.
So I stuffed the heartache and pain deep inside,
with the rest of the feelings that I have to hide.
I told the caretaker, "It's a beautiful stone.",
as I stood there, I felt so horribly alone.
But my face did not show it, and that voice continued to intone,
You cannot deny it, it's written in stone.
written by Bonnie Atkinson
In loving memory of her son, Jonathan Ray Atkinson.
January 19, 1981- March 30, 2002
http://mysonjohn.com
